How To Dog

Congratulations, you did it! You welcomed a sweet, furry ball of pure love into your hearts, and now you must welcome them (and their natural penchant for destruction) into your grown-up apartment (say buh-bye to that white shag rug, sweaty). Your life will never be the same, because pets rule and being alone drools, and even though you might cry a mixture of happy and sad tears after cleaning up the third accident of the morning, you can rest assured that your pooch will come over and lick them off your face—and I’d say that's a pretty excellent trade-off.

As some who adopted a rescue dog the size of a small horse in 2021, and was not at all prepared for his sheer reign of puppy-terror, my hindsight is very, very clear. I went through countless pairs of masticated shoes, shredded throw pillows, and destroyed priceless heirlooms (he ate an original Eames lounger and ottoman)—so you don't have to. My first piece of advice? Put away anything breakable, valuable, or just sentimental (those hurt the most) and get everything you can up off the floor. Next, assess your space—if you’re in need of a new couch, it might be best to wait a few months on that purchase (accidents happen), or invest in a scratch-resistant, dog-proof sofa that can handle a good beating.

I also spoke to knowledgeable dog-whisperers from two local NYC shelters—Mallory Kerley, Marketing Director at Muddy Paws Rescue; and Danielle Rosen, Social Media Coordinator at PupStarz Rescue—who have both truly seen it all. They dished on their must-have essentials, when (and how) to save your money, and all the products that they can't imagine life without.

If you’ve never had a pet before, you might want to think of pet-proofing your home in the same way you’d baby-proof a space. So, slap a thick, protective blanket on that sofa, and get ready to cuddle your bundle of joy while watching their favorite movie, Beethoven. We’re partial to this extra-large chenille couch cover that effortlessly drapes over the curves of your sofa, giving it a bohemian vibe.

Your rugs and carpets are in for a rough couple of months (potty-training can be hard), so do yourself a favor and add this natural stain and odor remover that Rosen swears by to your arsenal. "I absolutely love this cleaning solution," she said about Biokleen's plant-based bio-enzymatic cleaning solution. "It's not the crazy expensive one that everyone buys—it's the best and it doesn't smell like chemicals."

Another holy-grail item on Rosen's list are these Glad activated-carbon potty-pads. They’re made with five layers, which ensure leak-proof protection, including a polymer layer that absorbs liquid and turns it into gel for easy clean-up. "Someone donated these and I thought, ‘oh my god, you barely smell anything!’" Rosen said. "The darker color makes pee spots much less noticeable, and they’re super absorbent—you can use them longer than the average wee-wee pad."

There's no shame in admitting defeat when it comes to rugs—there's only so much dirt and urine one can take. Be smart about your next purchase, and invest in a rug that's machine-washable. We’re big fans of Ruggable's two-piece system which allows you to easily remove one cover and replace it with a completely different design while one's in the wash, or if you just want to switch up your decor.

The number-one piece of advice both Kerley and Rosen gave was to invest in the right size dog crate. Most rescues and trainers advocate for crate training, and even if you don't plan on sticking to a strict crate-routine, they’re endlessly useful for protecting your home and keeping your dog safe and comfortable, Kerley explains. As much as we would love to quit our day jobs to become full-time, stay-at-home dog parents, it's unlikely you’ll be able to watch your sweet rescue pup 24/7, and that's OK. You need to sleep, eat, use the facilities, and scroll TikTok for hours two minutes without having to worry about the ticking time bomb on the other side of the door, moments away from ripping the eyes off your childhood stuffed animal (RIP, Lamby).

When it comes to procuring the best crate for your pet, there are tons of options in regards to price, style, and function—but hands down, "you're going to want a crate that will last them their entire life," Kerley says. "If they're still a baby, you want to get one they can grow into." Most standard wire options come with dividers you can move to accommodate growth. You might want to throw in a crate cover if you don't have an abundance of old linens you’re willing to part with.

This simple wire dog crate—with a 4.7-star average rating from over 130,000 reviews on Amazon—is sturdy, inexpensive, and gets the job done. It's available in seven different sizes, all of which include a divider panel, a leak-proof plastic pan, protective rubber feet, and a carrying handle. I personally use this crate for my own rescue puppy, and found the dividers were easy to install and move. If your dog is anything like mine, you will be amazed how they can Houdini out of any situation, and that a regular-degular carabiner can foil any future escape plans.

For those moments when you’re supervising your furry friend, but also need to focus on not burning the salmon, a playpen will be your best friend. "You can put down pee pads, toys and their favorite treats," Kerley explains. "They can hang out in there [safely] while you need to get things done." Amazon Basics makes an easily-collapsible powder-coated pen with a latching-door, that comes in six different sizes, and includes eight ground anchors for outdoor use. https://amzn.to/3A7Qx2f

You may have seen Fable's luxury hand-made dog crates gracing your social media feeds. Its sleek, bent-wood frame and options for an acrylic or white metal gate transform this sophisticated doggy-den into a multi-functional piece of furniture, meant to blend into existing decor, rather than being relegated to a corner.

If your motto is "design first," then this stunning Lucite dog crate has been waiting for you to take it home to your sexy, 1980's cocaine-decor themed apartment, where it will fit right in next to your black leather couch and rhinestone-encrusted cheetah statue.

KindTail makes another fun, lightweight, collapsible pet crate in a very Millennial-chic color palette. With two sizes that are intended for smaller breeds, the polypropylene cage is BPA- and toxin-free, with no sharp edges for your pet to hurt themselves on.

My puppy chewed through at least six beds before I discovered K9 Ballistics’ indestructible dog beds and crate mats. My house was so covered in fluff he gutted from beds and toys that it looked like the entrance to Narnia. This bed, however, can take the heat—my dog still manically "digs" for buried treasure, and there's not a scratch to be found.

Recommended by both Rosen and my personal puppy-trainer, this bitter apple spray has been a total game-changer. I spray this on everything I want my dog to avoid—whether that's shoes I don't want him chewing or backyard furniture I don't want him peeing on. A couple of spritzes and he keeps his distance. It's also good for spraying on ankles and hands if you’ve got a puppy that hasn't learned that fingers aren't for teething yet.

Electrical cords and wires are basically the only things you can't willingly relocate until your puppy grows out of their terrible teething phase, so the best thing to do is make them undesirable. You can do that one of two ways; by hiding them or by making them taste bad (and difficult to chew).

For areas such as under your desk or behind credenzas—or anywhere a bunch of cords hang out together—these non-offensive cord containers keep all your devices safe from getting peed on or bitten through. Available in white or black with a stylish wooden lid, they ensure you won't have to worry about your pup getting bored and shutting down your entire setup right before the Oscars, the playoffs, or whatever you’ve been waiting all day to watch.

Another excellent option for singular cords or wires that are difficult to move are these practically invisible PVC wire covers that are citrus-scented and have a bitter taste to deter any pet from nibbling on them.

Now, go forth and prepare your humble abode for the greatest gift on this planet—a dog.

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